This post is now available in the ‘Life with an Autistic Son’ ebook available to download from Amazon.
“taking the time to let ourselves be passengers on B’s train of thought”,
This sounds like a wonderful way to let B know that his words and thoughts are valued by you. Surely it will give him confidence.
Also, it sounds so “normal”. I can think of many times I have listened and listened and listened to various aged persons…young child/older child/teen/adult/older adult (I have always been a sort of “listener”. — Have always enjoyed hearing stories and thoughts and what ifs)…It always springs to my mind that listening satisfies some deep yearing and need, and brings a lot of contentment. As I have gotten more preoccupied / busy with life’s concerns, I have had much less interest/patience with “long listening”, and have noticed flashes of disappointment from persons who, in the past, might have found my listening good for an hour or so. Reading this reminds me of how valuable being listened to is, and possibly something I have been somewhat missing out on.
It’s such a simple, obvious thing isn’t it- taking the time to sit and listen. Sadly, life is so manic most of the time that we forget to stop and allow a bit of time and space to enter our lives. I’m also going to try harder to listen to him more.
I seem to remember something in one of your early blogs about there being no possible light at the end of the tunnel, there not being an end to autism. But you are writing now about positive changes, the tunnel is at least becoming brighter.
You’re right. We’ve all come a long way. There are some quite dark moments shared in those earlier posts. I’m glad they are there as a reminder both of how I felt at the time and how much things have changed. There are still plenty of difficult times but so much has improved too, not least our ability to cope.
Made me laugh out loud. My son’s difficulties may be more severe, but he’s been going through the same at 13! He invents stories about what happened at school and because he is no longer a cute little boy, people believe him. He’s currently obsessed with the movie Home Alone and invented an entire scenario that supposedly happened at his special needs youth group that almost exactly mirrors the movie. I had to laugh but it does worry me
B sounds delightful 😉
My little boy is 3 and received his autism diagnosis at the end of October. Whilst your earlier posts strikes a chord with how I feel at times, reading them all and seeing B’s progress gives me hope and courage for the future. I know autism is not the end of the world, it’s just some days it feels like it.
Maybe B is trying to control the conversation to keep it in his comfort zone? We have had a lot the non stop motor mouth stuff with our son too. I think that he has feared getting something wrong or showing himself up when talking to someone else’s topic.
The thing about their understanding less than they can say is so important, and the opposite to NT children. I like to explain it in terms of my dreadful schoolgirl French – I can go into a shop and ask for something in French and be understood, however if the shopkeeper tries to have a conversation back I will be at a complete loss. I’d not heard the expression pragmatic language impairment before this post, it looks like a very useful way of explaining/understanding this particular difficulty & I’ll be looking into it further, thank you.
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