This post is now available in the ‘Life with an Autistic Son’ ebook available to download from Amazon.
Sound familiar to anyone? [raises hand]. The toughest part is trying to maintain your calm when the child loses his. In that regard, I’m hitting a little over .300, but I’m working at it every day.
This issue of the difference between aspergers and unacceptable behaviour and what to do about it. I think on the whole we have always tried to go for the approach that we have to explain it is unacceptable and enforce consequences. Even if we understand the reasons for his frustrations it is still not acceptable to hit his sister or throw the TV control. As well as the reasons you mention we also feel it is important that our Daughter sees that we are telling B this is wrong otherwise if she thinks he can get away with it, then why should she have any respect for rules. For us it is really hard because B is quite bright, so it is very difficult to work out where there is a very real issue for him and where he is trying to manipulate a situation because he wants to control the outcome. As my Son is about to start High School I’m trying not to think about what teachers might think of him – I find that all rather too scary. Thanks for writing this.
I have the huge benefit of my sister’s experience. Her autistic son is now 20 and she readily admits she let him away with murder because she put his bad behaviour down to autism.
My autie dude is 8 and is the youngest of 3 kids so the poor fella doesn’t have a hope of getting his own way. This doesn’t stop him trying…loudly and with great force, but we ignore what we can and punish what’s unacceptable by taking away his iPad for a while.
Oh, and I shout my head off at him sometimes too. He thinks it’s hilarious.
My thoughts are that even if he doesn’t understand why some behaviour is out of order, that he still has to learn not to do it. Fingers crossed, his understanding will come in time.
Really thought provoking piece. I hope lots of people read it XXX
I can totally relate to this, but I feel I am at a loss dealing with it. Any more tips?
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